Don't Blame Me!
by kymm
Summary: Do not blame me for this weird story. It's three days till H arry Potter #4 comes out, so I'm going insane! So, everyone on Voyager went insane too! R/R please.


Don't Blame Me! 

Disclaimer: hehehee…Paramount owns Star Trek, J.K Rowling (hiss) owns Harry Potter, J.R.R. Tolkien owns The Lord of the Rings, Comedy Central owns South Park, I own the world, cause I'm Darth Vader hehehehe… Pleaseeee don't think I'm a horrible author……………..I'm just waiting for Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, (or Harry Potter #4) and I can't concentrate…hehehe. 

By: Lady Katrine Potter. 

Rating: Me: PG, duh. 

Gollum: Sss, my precioussss, PG13, of course. 

Hagrid: I 'ink ya outa rate it NC-17, Katrine! 

OK, I don't really care what these people say, its PG!!!!

This story (ha) is ©Me, so don't copy, or I WILL SUE!!! Ha ha ha ha ha!

I have many numerous e-mail addresses so….

  1. [katrinepotter@angelfire.com][1] that's me, folks.
  2. [gandalf_the_purple@hotmail.com][2] (don't use this one if you value your life!)
  3. [the_lord_of_the_ring@hotmail.com][3] I own the One Ring of Power!
  4. [the_plasma_conduit@yahoo.com][4] I'm also a Plasma Conduit!
  5. OR….Gollum, my friend and comrade in arms…[gollumthenastything@hotmail.com][5]

Now, for thy wonderful cliché… 

It was a fine, sunny, breezy….

Hey, wait. It can't be sunny or breezy. That's cause its on a starship. Called Voyager. If you care to know. Which you do. Or maybe you don't. I don't really care, cause I already told you. 

It also wasn't a fine day, because no one was happy. So why'd I say it was…I DON'T KNOW! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

Why was no one happy? Well, for one thing there was a large problem with the Doctor. This time he had tried to add hyperactive subroutines to his program, and it worked. Very well. He was bouncing all around sickbay, insisting that he was a flying, pink, hippopotamus. B'Elanna Torres was trying to fix him, but the Doctor kept shoving her away from the console, telling her to fly with him. 

"I wish I could sedate him, but he's a hologram." She muttered. 

"B'Ellllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" he said, bouncing around the room. "Flyyyyy with meeeeeeee!" B'Elanna thought she felt some of the Klingon Anger coming into action….

* * * * 

MEANWHILE…on the bridge, Ensigns Tom Paris and Harry Kim were playing tag. They were running around the Bridge, and Tom was shouting, "YOU CAN'T CATCH MEEEE!" Harry occasionally replied, "Oh yeah, well Tommy, you got another thing comin'!" 

And just where were Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay (most importantly, TUVOK) during all of this. Nobody knew. All Harry and Tom knew was that Captain Janeway left Chakotay in charge of the Bridge, and walked to the Turbolift, and went away. About 5 minutes later, Chakotay did the same, leaving Tom in charge, since Tuvok hadn't shown up for duty. Tom had then declared that Harry was 'it' and started running around the Bridge. Harry had been it for 15 minutes, and no end was in site. 

"Tommy, am I going to be an ensign forever?" 

"Oh but of course! Captain Janeway needs an ensign to make fun of!" 

"That's you!"

"No it's not."

"Yes it is!" 

"No!"

"Yes!"

::sigh:: MEANWHILE…

* * * * 

Seven of Nine and Neelix were in the Messhall. Nobody else was there, highly unusual, very suspicious seeming. 

Seven looked around and asked, "Mr. Neelix, where is the crew?" 

"Oh, don't worry, Seven! They should be here in around an hour! Could I get you something?" 

"No. I was supposed to meet the Captain here, at 9:00 hours. I will wait." She sat down at a table, and read through the PADD in her hand. 

Neelix came from behind the Galley and sat at Seven's table. "Are you sure you don't want anything?" he asked. 

She looked up, and in her normal manner said, "Yes."

Suddenly **I, **the Great Katrine Potter walk in, with my wand, and Harry Potter. 

Oh, wait. Scratch that. NO ONE likes stories with the author as the Main Character, and doing a Mary Sue, also. 

…But hey. Who says anyone has to LIKE this. ::pause:: No, I have a much better idea then that, at any rate. 

Okay, back to the story (hey, that sounds like Back to the Future!) Seven continues to look at the PADD, and Neelix sits there, grinning like an EVIL cat. Cat? You say. Well, at any rate he looks like a Cat, so he just looks more evil than usual. 

After about 15 minutes, Seven stood up and said, "I am leaving. I have an appointment with the Doctor. Mr. Neelix…you…frighten me." 

"Oh don't worry! Everybody's scared of me!" 

Seven walked out of the Messhall and started to proceed to Sickbay.

* * * * 

And just where are Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay during all of this? Well, I think we'll just leave them alone ::wink, wink:: and see what Hyper Doctor and Angry B'Elanna are up to. 

Well, it seems like the Doctor was just too much for B'Elanna to stand. He was being severely punched by Lt. Torres. 

"You stupid hologram! Gahh! P'tak!" (what's Klingon for Die?) 

"B'Ella and I are flying!!! Lalalalalalaala!!!!!" the Doctor said, sounding perfectly carefree even though he was being beaten up by THE ANGRIEST woman in the Galaxy. 

Well, shall we see what Harry and Tommy are up to? Yes…..

* * * * 

Harry was still chasing after Tom. He was still 'it'. 

"Toooooommmmmmmy…."panted Harry. 

"Shut up, Mommy's Boy!" shouted Tom. 

Harry stopped. Tom, however, didn't seem to notice. He kept running until he slammed right into Harry. 

"Hey! You hit me, Mommy's Boy!" 

Harry punched Tom in the face. Tom punched Harry in the face. Lalala…you now the story. They kept punching each other until Tom ran away and didn't appear for 5 more minutes. He had a steel chair. 

Harry frowned. "Tom, that's on wrestling, and that isn't real…" 

"Yeah, you're right Harry. Let's kiss and make up." 

(Awwwwww…there's the Moral of the Story…don't use violence to solve your problems.)

"NOOOOOO!" said Harry, and they continued to punch each other. 

(HA! NOT!) 

* * * * 

Meanwhile in Sickbay, B'Elanna continued to punch the Doctor. 

* * * * 

No. We are not going to bug Janeway and Chakotay. Because well, personally I don't want to _know_ what they're doing. ::wink, wink:: I hope you get the message…

* * * *

By this time, Seven of Nine had made it to Sickbay. She saw B'Elanna beating up the Doctor and said. "Lt. Torres. I will fix the Doctor's Program." She walked over to the console, punched a few buttons, said some Technobabble, and magically, the Doctor was back to normal. 

But, wait. Wait. No, I'm not done yet. Was it really the TECHNOBABBLE that fixed the Doctor…

* * * * 

On the Bridge, Harry and Tom were talking again. It seems that Harry had been kidding when he said, "NOOOOOOOOO!" Good. : ) 

::thinks:: Okay, I'm done bothering you. It really was technobabble that saved the Doctor. ::smiles:: We still have three people to check on…

* * * *

Neelix was in the Messhall, whistling to himself. He had recently replicated a TV from the late 20th century, probably from 1999. 

He was watching _The Young and the Restless_ on the TV. 

(Okay, if you watch that show, sorry if I get this all screwed up.) 

"Oh, Jake!" cried a woman. 

"Oh, Maria!" said Jake. 

"Kiss me." 

Neelix sighed. "Oh, I love this show. I wonder who killed Kenny…" 

Well, now we all know Neelix's secret pastime, even though we should've known in _Future's End._

* * * * 

And well…I know y'all are wondering about Janeway and Chakotay. Where are they? 

Hmmm…

Well, ::hesitates:: they are ::hesitates:: well ::hesitates:: ummm…

No. 

I won't tell you. Not that you care anyway. 

THE END 

Lalalalala…….did ya know that Harry Potter Book 4 comes out in THREE DAYS?! 

::pause::

NOOOOOO?

::sighs:: Oh well, don't blame me for this silly thing. I can't concentrate, cause I can't think about anything other than Harry Potter. 

Maybe I'll come out with a better thing someday. 

Bye everyone! : ) : ( ;) ;O

And remember, kids, violence isn't the solution to problems. 

Neither are steel chairs. 

Oh yeah, and HARRY POTTER ROCKS!!! ::cough, cough:: Sorry. 

Lets see…J/C forever, EMH/7 forever!!!!!!!! Yeah, sure…whatever…::grins:: That's really what I think!

Bye. 

~Katrine~ 

" 

   [1]: mailto:katrinepotter@angelfire.com
   [2]: mailto:gandalf_the_purple@hotmail.com
   [3]: mailto:the_lord_of_the_ring@hotmail.com
   [4]: mailto:the_plasma_conduit@yahoo.com
   [5]: mailto:gollumthenastything@hotmail.com



End file.
